What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
13.06.2025 00:50
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Would this be the day?
Kquorans, can you please write a story?
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Who then, do I blame.?
He was dying to do it , i knew.
'City-Killer' Asteroid Even More Likely to Hit The Moon in 2032 - ScienceAlert
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
I was 9 years of age.
Was to survive, this bastard.
What’s the worst thing you caught anyone in your family doing?
I never cut or harmed myself..
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
A new COVID variant is spreading across California. Could we see a summer surge? - Sacramento Bee
I waited trembling.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Stopping alcoholism gets smarter with smartwatches - The Brighter Side of News
This is soul school!.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Measles vaccination rates drop after COVID-19 pandemic in counties across the US - AP News
She married twice! .
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
What defines the k'vanna of the Book of בראשית?
My family never makes their pension either.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
How many boxes 600 x 400 x 200 go into a 20ft container?
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I could never make a relationship work though!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
As measles spreads across the Americas, outbreaks in Mexico and Canada have also turned deadly - CNN
Im still living with it.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Increased Toxicity Risk Identified For Children With ADHD, Autism - ScienceAlert
I did it because my mum asked me too!
I have no regrets .
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Kuorans can you write a sad story about kpop?
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I said to her
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Especially a lifetime of it.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
She loved him until the end.
When she asked me how she looked .
My life is so biszare .
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
She found it foreign!.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
She was in good health!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Why did i forgive my father ?
Put me off passion for life!!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
It was going to be , some day.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
I write beautiful poetry .
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
One cannot live in the past .
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
He knew the spot.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
All the time i was locked up.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I don,t even have a pension.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
And i lived it daily.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
We were not on the streets..
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I had hoped to write a book about this .
What did i know ?
I was scared of men, in general
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
But, we were locked up after school.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
(And it was in our own minds.)
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
We all went to grammer schools
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Comes on , in middle age.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
This is how, and why children get BPD.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
So, i spoilt her more .
So whats the point in blame.
I think the readers, may guess!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I will be 64.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
As i do to all so called friends.?
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
She wouldn,t have been !
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
But it wasn’t much.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I couldn’t, believe it.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
He resisted the act ,that day.
Ive learnt so much.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I was very sick at this time too.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
But ive been too sick for many years..
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I was seconnd youngest,